Where Did The Idea Of Marriage Come From?

A white wedding in a church with a horse andreverse (and is still continuing in most parts of the
carriage may be every young woman's dream,world today).
however the concept of marriage as a unionThe neighboring Romans adopted the custom
between a man and woman (and sometimesfrom the Greeks, though they added a further
between men and women note the plural) has itslayer of legality and ceremony to the concept.
roots several thousand years before Christianity.There were several different forms of marriage
Marriage is also a universal concept which hasin the Roman Empire and which version was used
developed in numerous cultures around the worlddepended on whether the woman was to join her
even though they have not had direct contacthusband's family or remain associated with her
with each other.own. A free marriage allowed the wife to own
So how has the idea of a man and womanher own property and retain her own family's
setting up a union come about?name, but more importantly, she (and her original
First off, where did the word marriage comefamily) kept any property she owned or inherited
from? Well marriage first originated in the Englishwithin her own family. It was more traditional for
language in the mid-13th Century, and came froma woman to be simply transferred to her husband
the Old French marier but, the French themselvesand his family; the wife lost her right to inherit
had stolen it from the Romans maritare beingproperty from her old family and found herself
Latin for to marry.under the total authority of her husband and his
The oldest written reference to the institution offamily.
marriage comes from Hammurabi's Code ofChristianity arose out of the ashes of the Roman
Ancient Mesopotamia (broadly covering modernEmpire, however it was not until this radical, new
day Iraq), and where the first permanent citiesreligion was over 100 years old that the idea of a
were established. This takes us back to aroundreligious implication was developed in connection
1800 B.C., almost 4,000 years ago, however thewith marriage. Until then, and for a long time
custom of marriage certainly pre-dates even this.afterwards, Christians married in much the same
Marriage came to Europe via the Ancient Greeks,way as everyone else a family arrangement,
but there were no set rules or procedures to beusually negotiated without any pretense of
followed to create a lawful union. All that wasemotion or love between the parties. As
required was mutual consent of bride and groomChristianity gained traction in the Roman Empire, it
and that both acknowledged each other as theirbecame clear that this moral religion should take a
respective spouse. It is from the Spartans (of thestand that marriage should bein accordance with
300 fame) who started the European tradition forthe laws of God and not simply an expedient
men to marry in their 30's and women as earlybusiness deal.
as possible. The logic was that the men wouldBy the 12th Century, it had become compulsory
have completed (and survived) military servicefor wives to take their husband's surname and
(and this was a time when living to your 40's wasadditional layers of legality and ceremony were
considered to be old age), while for women, ifadded. By the mid-16th Century, the bride and
you wanted a virgin when you married it wasgroom had to have the consent of a number of
considered best to marry a woman as young aspeople to get married usually their parents and
possible.the Church, but if you were a noble or a
More importantly, the Ancient Greeks also set thelandowner, you may have needed the permission
very clear pattern of marrying for position, wealthof the King! The Church's permission was
and power. The idea you married because youintegrated into the ritual because it opposed the
loved someone was irrelevant sentimentality orformation of marriages by children, sometimes
feelings did not come into what was a commercialeven babies, by their families. We ought to thank
transaction between families looking to advancethe Church for the fact that free-will became an
or protect their own positions. Upon becoming aestablished feature of modern Western marriage.
wife, a Greek woman lost practicality all of herBefore the Church, you married who your
rights which has taken over 2,000 years toparents or patriarch told you to marry!