Thinking of the Other Person First

I was raised not to be self centered. I always hadnot ask for it? - and in doing so, not only did you
to think of the other person first. Today, myloose the respect of others, but also lost respect
parents would be so proud: it's natural for me tofor yourself.
think of 'the other person' first.(Note: There is an emotional compensation
You probably see this as the most honorableinvolved: that of self importance. Remember the
thing, and that, if everyone would be so socialreason why people buy? People buy with emotion
minded, this world would be a better place.and justify with logic.
However, nothing could be farther from the truth.Your needs for acceptance by others and for self
Thinking of the other person first - and afterimportance can be satisfied [or: 'bought'] by "being
spending a lifetime doing that, I can say this froma do-gooder to others", and justified with the logic
experience - allows others the distinct opportunityof 'being of service to them'. This is causing an
to step over you like a doormat. This has beeninternal conflict that may trigger feelings of
the hardest thing for me to understand; wouldn'tresentment).
it make more sense that people would be gratefulWhen one individual treats you unfairly, take a
instead, for being considered first?stand and move on. But when the world treats
Nonetheless here is what always seems toyou unfairly, isn't it time to take a closer look and
happen: people that 'unselfishly' do for others getsee to which of your needs the world is calling
stepped on all the time, pushed over continually,your attention?
are taken for granted constantly and are amongThe value of YOU is totally determined by YOU,
the most disrespected people walking this planet.even when it is accepted from others [like your
Why would that be? Is this world that ungrateful?parents]. YOU set your own demands, YOU set
The answer is: Yes and No.your own standards; YOU set your own values.
Yes, there are people who are extremelyBy the responses of the outside world you will
ungrateful, and No, because the world operatesknow whether or not your values are set high
on a different premise and abides by differentenough.
laws than you may be aware of.Suppose you are selling a diamond and your first
First, let me say this:prospect, a jeweler, purchases your rock without
Life is ever expanding and there must be amaking you a counter offer. You can bet your
striving toward balance on each and every levelsweet little diamond that your price was set far
of Life for anything to exist. Without the strivingtoo low. The same goes for your personal value.
for balance, things become instable and fall apart.When you set your values too low, the bargain
Movement is consistent with the constant changehunters will come in and clean you out.
of Life and change is always moving toward aLife fulfills your needs as you claim them. If your
state of balance.satisfaction lies in fulfilling the needs of others
Perfect balance is unnatural and causes stagnation,without proper compensation, Life will present you
resulting in disintegration or death. One of the lawsstrictly with those who will use up your talents
that Life observes, the Law of Vibration, requiresand leave you empty handed.
constant change and prohibits stagnation, becauseThe value of your dignity as perceived by the
Life is ever expanding.world is expressed in terms of RESPECT from
When you are always putting the other personothers. The more value you put on YOU, the
first, it implies that you must be putting yourselfmore respect you will get from others. In
last. In other words, you are placing yourself atreverse, if the world treats you disrespectfully, it
the lowest rung of the social ladder above whichcan only mean one thing: you have undersold
most everyone is striving to rise. With you on theyourself and your balance is tipping.
lowest rung, you allow everyone to climb aheadNow, go ahead; re-evaluate yourself and upgrade
of you. In order to do that, they'll have to climbthe price tag you pinned on yourself. Quickly the
over you and they will gladly step on you to getworld around you will adjust to your new looks
what they want and where they want to go.and treat you in a more respectful manner.
To make things a bit more interesting, say youTo re-establish yourself as a Respectable Go-To
are the Go-to person who gives free advise andperson, you must first think unselfishly for
free or low-cost (under priced) services toyourself and of yourself and give unselfishly to
everyone, because you where taught to alwaysyourself by receiving graciously form others
put the other person first.according to your just value. Then giving and
Since you are the 'Go-to' person who gives freelyreceiving are the same, and a balance is set.
without requiring proper compensation, your freeYour talents are your prized gems. It is truly
services will be gladly accepted and you - Mr. orhonorable to help and put others first, but it is
Mrs. Free-Giver - will be taken for granted. Yourmore important to value yourself justly and not
customers and friends will be grateful for yourto habitually give your talents away freely.
free advice and low-cost product/service withoutWhen I approached Life with my focus solely on
regard to you.supplying the needs of others and with little focus
This will fit perfectly in the void - the imbalance -on ME, an imbalance was established that found
that you created within your being: you did notits equilibrium in "compensations" by others in the
ask for an adequate material recompense and so,form of disrespect, resulting in resentment on my
you did not receive one. Since you didn't wantpart. Once I recognized that my low price tag
one to begin with, your compensatory needs arewas luring the 'raiders' and bargain hunters I
met. But this goes even further than that: youadjusted my tag and became respected by
quietly convinced yourself that you are notmany. This addresses the Law of Compensation.
worthy of compensation - why else would youFinally, something must be said about Charity.